Hi again

It's been a while since I poured everything out to you. So we have a lot to catch up on.

Let's cut straight to the good stuff. I graduated from University in August 2020, got a job in October 2020, and something is still missing, one year later.

My biggest motivation when studying for my program at University was that I wanted to help people. I didn't know what that meant exactly, but I knew I wanted to make an impact on this world, however small. I'm sure in previous posts I've touched on this, but even if I somehow help just a single person, I thought I would have achieved that goal. In this current time, though that sounds nice and inspiring, I feel like it's not enough. I started my current job with that earlier mindset, and slowly I'm beginning to feel like the impact I am making, is not the one I had subconsciously envisioned for myself at work. That's not to say I hate my job, and I'm quitting tomorrow. Not at all. I'm learning so much about how the world we live in is able to function on a day-to-day basis, and I wouldn't have it any other way right now. 

I think this feeling is growing from the fact that there are so many things that I want to try. In a perfect world, I could switch careers every 5 years seamlessly. I'd be a journalist, flight attendant, video editor, PR assistant, graphic designer, model, teacher, set designer and author in the 40-50 years of my adult life. What's holding me back is the same thing holding everyone back: time, money and life. So where's the happy medium? How do I meet these dreams halfway? (Also, I haven't mentioned the things I want to accomplish in my personal life because honestly, the list is never ending.)

Do I just pick one and go for it? Do I attempt to get as close as possible to these careers through some similar hobbies? Obviously if I knew the answer I wouldn't have this dilemma, though I've slowly started following the latter option, personally. I've recently started learning some Photoshop skills again (haven't played around with it in over 10 years), I'm starting to pick up writing again on this platform. Also, I had so much fun reviewing the MET Gala looks this week, that I will likely try do a similar thing for future red carpets, on my Instagram. At the end of this year, I will also be making another "Year in Review" video with everything I've done/experienced. For now, this will do to fulfill this missing piece and I know I shouldn't worry too much about the long term, but I can't help it sometimes. 

Through conversations with family and friends, I've come to realize that I am not a career-driven person, and there is nothing wrong with that. I shouldn't be ashamed to say that, simply because the society I live in and have grown-up around wasn't built that way. I was never told that this was an option. I was always under the impression that what you enjoy doing should be your career. But what if you enjoy many things, how can you pursue multiple careers, or how do you know which one to choose to pursue professionally? But it doesn't have to be that way. What you love to do, though it is a career for some people, doesn't have to be yours; it can simply be a hobby. You don't have to monetize everything you love to do. 

It's fucked though how you have to work to live (just saying lol), but we've been given this hand and we have to figure out how to make the most of it. Do I know what I'm doing? No. But I can bet my retirement savings that neither do you.

If you have any recommendations of things you believe I'd enjoy adding to my list of hobbies, please let me know on Instagram (@mariesophie.w).

xx

M