Overcoming "Firsts"

So school has started, and the little wheels in my brain are now, not only spinning because of this "blog" that I want to keep up with, but school as well. So over the last couple weeks I've had a lot of time for self-reflection. Hopefully you come along for the ride...

It's All for A Reason, Right?
You know the saying, “you don’t know what you have until its gone”. Have you ever herd someone say something along the lines of “I’ve lived my life perfectly, not knowing this thing existed, but now that I’ve been given a taste of it, I can’t stop thinking about it, and I feel like I can’t live without it”.

Ok maybe that last one is a little specific, but I hope you understand the gist that I’m trying to say here.

I believe everyone in our lives is there for a reason. What that reason is specifically, we may never truly find out, but there’s no doubt we (or maybe it’s just me) think about what it all means. Why did certain people come into our lives, just to hurt us? Why did certain people come into our lives, make an incredible impact on us, just for us to be forced to leave? Why have some of us yet to meet someone who takes our breath away the moment we see them? Why do some people come and go, while some stay for the long haul? How can we foresee people's intentions upon meeting them?

When You Meet Someone

I met this person not long ago, and we’ve already made incredible memories together. The reason I bring this up is because I had to let go of this person. To avoid revealing everything about my personal life, all I'll say is that I'd finally met a decent human being who I connected with, and just like that they were gone.

Having had the relationship we built, in the short amount of time we were together, I’ve struggled not being able to see them anymore. We had a connection that I’d never experiences with anyone else, and I truly never knew could exist with anyone. Everything was easy and effortless, and to avoid sounding too cheesy, it just felt natural. I didn’t know that kind of bond with another person could exist, and as quickly as the friendship began, it was over. Ok well not over, we still stay in contact thanks to texting and messaging, but I hate voice calling people and so due to the fact that we don't live in the same country, we (probably) aren't going to see each other again.

Why oh Why Is It So
I've struggled trying to understand whether my attraction towards them was due to the fantasy-like situation we met in, or if it truly was something real. Was I glorifying this person, or were they really as great as I thought and had experienced?

The point of telling you all this is not for pity, but because I think everyone goes through this. We've all met someone who we think "OMG I love them! This person needs to be my best friend! We have the best time together!" And then we never see them again. For me, this was more than just a stranger in bar, he was special. It was the first experience of its kind I'd had and by going through the motions, I learned a lot about myself and the world.

I was messaging him not too long ago talking about all of this and he then told me “Just be happy it happened at all. Life brings on so many challenges, but we don’t pay enough attention to the amazing things it surprises us with when we least expect it.”

At first, it was so damn hard to wrap my head around what he said because I was just so overwhelmed with emotion. I’d finally met someone who made me feel like nobody else had, and they were ripped out of my hands in the blink of an eye. It took me a couple days to step back and understand what it all really meant for me, and my journey through life. But I think I did.

She's A Little Bit Wiser

We meet a lot of people in our lives, but in my opinion our 20s are the crucial age where we are finally given the freedom to figure out who we are and what we want in life, and how we’re going to get there. Along the way, the people we meet, shape the decisions we make about where our lives are going, whether we realise it or not in the moment. Our 20s are when we experience alot of firsts, first apartment, first degree, first car... first child and marriage too! And the people we meet along the way shape those experiences forever, whether we realize it or not. That isn't to say that our 30s, 40s and 50s should be seen as less, but our 20s are just a crucial part of the start of our lives in the "real world".

In the short time I've known this person, a lot has happened. I've experiences alot of firsts in my personal life, and those never would have happened had I not met this person. We come from totally different worlds and we just happened to both be at the same place at the same time. So many things had to go right (or wrong in some cases) for us to meet, and they did.

So as much as I feel like I'm missing a part of me today, I am so grateful I met him at all. The universe made it all happen and because of it I gained the comfort in finally knowing that decent people do exist in this world.


Optimism is Key
For my entire life, I'd never met anyone, aside from my those in my family, who brought out the best in me and made me feel like I truly mattered in this world. Without disregarding the friends I do have and care for, this type of a connection I'd never experienced before. I'd never known anyone who said they cared about me, and truly meant it, without expecting anything in return. I'd never met someone so different from me, yet so similar. But on this day, I did, and it completely flipped the pessimistic view on the world I used to have.

Before I end this post, I want to include something a friend told me. When I was venting about life and the world being a cruel place, he told me this,

"You have your health, you are intelligent, you are beautiful, you have a full life you are studying at school, you have friends, you have a whole family that supports you and loves you... you have a lot that alot of people just wish they had... take advantage of that."

His words solidified the fact that complaining and moping about what I don't have is absolutely pointless.Whatever happens, happens, and we just need to be grateful for what we DO have. Taking it one day at a time, before our very eyes, incredible things will come to us when we least expect it. I never expected to meet this friend on that blistering hot Monday morning, nor did I think we'd spend those following 48 hrs building the relationship we did and to this today continue to keep in touch. Although that specific moment in time was very special, it's over, and has been over for a while. Nonetheless, I am so grateful to have met this person. He taught me a lot about the world and I continue to learn from him. People like that are those that, regardless of the outcome of our relationship today (whether we miraculously meet again, or whethe

r I never hear from him again), I have no regrets.

I Know a Few Things But...
All things considered, I still have a lot to learn about building relationships with the new people I meet. I think we learn something new from every new person we meet which is pretty cool. So in hindsight we really should never stop learning about people and our relationships with those people. If we do, life will get pretty boring if you think about it... And even if you don't want to admit it to yourself, you've questioned, either in a positive way or negatively, about your relationships with the people around you too... it's not just a "girl thing" I can promise you that!

So, if you take only one things away from reading through my word vomit, take this:

Be mindful of where you are in life, and be grateful for all that you have no matter how small, because I can guarantee you someone out there wishes they had what you had. Lastly, life is crazy and surprises us everyday. Don't worry about the things that seem out of your reach today. Just live your life, make decisions on whether they will make you happy today! Everything will fall into place the way it was meant to happen... at least that's what I believe to be true.

Most of all just be kind and approach every situation you are in with intention.

-Marie