Love Never Felt So Good

I fell in love. It’s not a conventional love by any means, but it’s a type of love I didn’t know I was holding on to until I started crying (of joy) in my bed one night earlier this month.

Backstory

My Grandma Looking Like a Goddess in the 50s

My grandparents immigrated to Canada in the last 1950s from the UK. This side of my family history has always intrigued me. The stories my grandmother would tell me about about her life in England felt like she was describing another world. And in her defense, the 1930s-1940s was a pretty different world than the one we live in today. 

I found out many years ago that because of my grandparents’ nationalities, I, as their grand-daughter, may have a claim to British Citizenship. For many years that was put on the back-burner and nothing came of it. I wasn’t, nor were my parents, fully invested in making the effort to find out if my claim was valid. I lived a perfectly good life in Canada, so did they, and there didn’t seem to be a need for me to obtain double citizenship. That is of course until a couple months ago.

When a close family friend of our passed away, all these questions about my grandparents’ history in England, and their move to Canada became much more intriguing. You see, this family friend became a friend to my grandparents because her husband and my grand-father worked together and immigrated together to Canada. She and her husband, and my grand-parents became very close friends. As time went on, and divorces occurred, our family friend and my grand-mother kept contact and stayed very close friends until the day she passed. All things considered that was a 60+ year friendship.

You may be wondering, “ok well what does this have to do with this love letter you mention in the title?!” and that is where we’re going next.

Changes

I didn’t realize it until the one year anniversary of my last trip, until our family friend passed away, or until I started brainstorming grad trip locations, but I am fully in love with the United Kingdom. I don’t know how to explain it, or if this will make sense to any of you, but I damn love that country. I know full well that every "basic white girl" says they love London, or New York, but I truely have this connection to the UK as a country that I cannot explain.

A couple months ago, I took matters into my own hands. Got in a touch with an immigration lawyer, and layed out all my options towards British Citizenship. I quickly found out that I am not yet eligible for citizenship (I’ll explain that later), but I have claim towards an Ancestry Visa. All of which meaning that as long as I have the right documents and prove I am capable of working in the UK, I will be granted a 5-year Visa, just like that. After the 5 years are up, and the time comes to renew the Visa, it is in my rights to then apply for citizenship if I choose to do so.

Wait. Hold up. Whaaaatt?! So as soon as 2 months from now (the time it takes for an application to go through and get accepted), I could be living and working in the UK?! When I say I’ve just described to you my dreams coming true, that is no exaggeration.

Decisions

Before you text me, asking me all these questions about when I’m going, don’t worry, I won’t actually be applying until I’ve at least finished University and saved enough money to move my life to another country across the world. But, the fact that the option is easily accessible to me, and can be obtain whenever I would want it, that is insane to me and makes me so excited.

In all honest, I haven’t had anything really to look forward to, past graduation other than getting a job and saving money for an unknown goal/target. I thought, maybe I’d save to buy my own place and move out of my parents house, but that was never set in stone and I never gave myself a timeline. So all things considered, that felt like the next big milestone in my life, moving out. So the fact that this option is now available, gives me so much more to potentially look forward to. Therefore, I’ve finally given myself a timeline...

If by the time I turn 25, I’ve saved enough money, and nothing is holding me to stay in my hometown other than my friends/family, than I am getting on that firkin plane, and not coming back for 5 years (I'll be back for the holidays obviously, I was just trying to be dramatic lol).

I am holding myself to that promise and I hope some of you watching me will keep me accountable when that day comes.

Love is Love is Love is Love

I don’t know how to express it but that country, more specifically London (because I haven’t had the chance to visit all the major cities yet like Manchester and Leeds) brings me so much damn joy. Thinking about the time I’ve spent there over the last couple years, though it was always brief (never more than a week at a time), I can feel my heart filling with happiness. I’ve never felt any emotion like this before for any city, except my own obviously. The closest city to make me feel like that would have to be New York, but I have no interest in moving there whatsoever. I’ll reserve that city life for a destination vacation rather than a place to build a home.

The number of times I’ve cried in my bed at night looking at the pictures in front of Kensington Palace or Buckingham Palace, is a lot more than you’d expect. The memories in Bath, Oxford, Edinburgh and Liverpool, everytime I’d walk around in any city we visited, I felt comfortable. I was never scared of the unknown, even though I’d never been to some of these cities before. In London, I felt so at ease getting around in the Tube, and even wandering abouts the city. I don’t know if it’s the language, being so familiar with it because my grandmother still carries her accent, or just because I’ve surrounded myself with the culture out of pure love and intrigue, but nothing ever felt foreign. Yes I know they still speak english, so how foreign could it really feel, but I just felt so at home everyday, it was refreshing.

If I haven’t proven my love to you enough, let me tell you that at all times, I can be guaranteed to be carrying something UK or London related in my purse. My license plate is even personalized to tell everyone I’m jetting off to London at all times. Don’t tell my parents, but I am even planning on getting a tattoo to establish, on my body permanently, how much I damn love that country.

I don’t know how much more proof you may need but I love this country more than I think anyone will truly understand, so I'll stop trying to explain it. I will even sit here and write confidently that, excluded from my family, I’ve never loved any person more than the love I feel for the United Kingdom. Call me crazy, but I don’t give a flying hoot (is it obvious yet that I’m trying not to swear)!

S/O to the back of my mom's head <3

Closure

So to end this love-fest while trying not to sound like a complete crazy person, last night I was given a sort of sign. You see I had this ring for the entirety of my 2nd year of University, but at some point during the summer between my 2nd and 3rd year I lost the ring. You could say this ring was a staple of my personality as I used to wear it EVERYDAY to no avail. When I lost it, I felt a little empty inside if I'm honest. As time went on, I began to forget I'd even lost it sometimes. To cut to the point, I found that ring last night, almost 3 years after I'd initial purchased it, and words cannot describe

how happy I was. 

This ring symbolizes hope, joy and love, and I am beyond excited to have found it at a time when my future is looking brighter than ever. I have so many things to look forward to in the next 5 years, and my ring, which I would consider a part of me now, we will march head on and experience so many incredible thing together. I don't care if it sounds cheesy, because that seems to be my brand now and I won't apologize for it.

I hope you are all awaken with a beam of light and hope in the coming days. Whether you are struggling to make a big life decision or if you feel trapped in a routine you don't love, remember without the heartache and the pain, we would never truly find and/or appreciate the love and happiness. 

I wouldn't love as I do, if I didn't experience longing and heartache at some point. We must do everything with intent and never forget to enjoy what we've been given, or earned, in the moment. Living in the present is so important, but in order to do so we need goals to constantly be working towards on a daily basis.

When I am 25, I'll either be a home-owner or a British National. What are you doing today, to achieve your tomorrow goals?

Let me know.

-Marie