I Dare You To Judge Me

I’m so sick of social media stars dictating the internet. I fall for their lies time and time again. I am so quick to believe the accusations they make about others without proof. I catch myself getting hooked into these lies, and I’m sick of it. I’m sick of the person I become when I bandwagon on this “cancelled” culture, and I’m sick of the thoughts and judgment I throw towards people I don’t even know. I've caught myself doing this not only with people on the internet, but with people in my real life.

I don’t want to be this person.


The Beginning

This weekend, I had a really amazing heart to heart with an old friend of whom I hadn’t talked to in almost three years. We grew apart after holding on a little too long to a high school relationship after our first year of University. To make matters worse, I knew once we graduated high school that I was not interested in keeping the friendship. I turned by back towards her beliefs, putting forth a lot of judgment and preconceived notions about her character. All of which was based on what society and/or what other friends/family were telling me about who she was.

I took the words of others before making my own thoughts, and I realize now that ruined a friendship that could, today, be very strong. I listened to the people who told me “Oh ya she’s one of those vegan”, back when veganism was still very new 5 years ago, and “Isn’t she still into that woo woo hippie dippy stuff?”. I took those people’s judgments as my own opinions and created a persona of a girl that was less than favourable. Nonetheless, everything happens for a greater reason, and I've learned from that experience.

I only realize all of these things about a month ago when I stumbled on her Instagram, or when she found mine and started following me (not sure which came first). So I sent her a message, we planned a day to meet up and catch up. As that day has come, and gone, I realized a lot of things about myself through talking to her.


The Meeting

This is just what I took from the three hours we talked at Starbucks in a quaint suburb.

She is magical; wise beyond description, but better of all she understands parts of me that I couldn’t even put into words. She lives light years away from where I stand. We have had such different paths in life and we will forever continue to roam this earth in opposite directions. She is so far from the person I thought she would be, yet in other ways her experiences and thoughts don’t surprise me.

I talked to her about how this blog is helping me cope with an inner need to get my thoughts out into the world. I told her about my past and present relationships pitfalls, and triumphs. More importantly, as I’ve never told anyone before, I expressed how much I feel like something in my life is missing. To my knowledge, it doesn’t feel like this can be filled with a relationship, or a belief system of higher power, nor can it be filled with a tangible item or accomplishment. I feel like there’s a part within me that has yet to be untapped, or waiting to be opened.


The Learning

If this all sounds like wooh wooh crazy hippy stuff to you, than you assume whatever you want, but I don’t think it is. I am both an educated intellectual human who wants to solve real world problems, and also someone who feels strength in meditation, love for nature and vibrations in the atmosphere.

I’ve come to realize over the last year that there is so much more to living than I thought. Yes a large part is going to school/work, listening to podcast/movies/music, hanging out with friends/significant others and/or enjoying a pass-time. All of which is fine to do, but a large part should also be living your own life; being present, being alone, being silent, escaping the voices that drown our ears every day and just being. Living has multiple facets, multiple realities. Our bodies and brains are capable of so much and the majority of us are only tapping into a fraction of it’s capabilities.

Without discrediting everything I just said, I am not an expert, but I am an eager student. I want to be able to tap into that part of me more often but it’s not easy. It takes work, motivation, drive and persistence. Nothing great in life for anyone has ever come easy. It takes sacrifice to step out of your comfort zone and explore new experiences.


The Experience

Whether you believe what I am saying, or not, it doesn’t matter. Whether you are worried what other people may think of you for having beliefs which challenge theirs, or not, it doesn’t matter. What I’ve realized is that no matter how you try to explain your beliefs or thoughts, most people will never understand because we are all programmed differently. We each have our own mind, and our own history which have led to the way we live today.

You’ll never be able to convince someone or make them understand that you had a exchange of energy with a tree, so large that, one day, when you walked past that tree and saw that it had been cut down, you cried of sadness but also joy for how grateful you were for that tree to have taken part in your life.

No one will understand until they’ve experiences a similar feeling. But they can still chose to accept you.

Someone who’s never been in love, or never lost a loved one, will never understand how that truly feels until it happens to them. No one will truly know how it feels to reach euphoria with a tree, until they’ve experienced it. No one will understand how life changing meditation, yoga or the law of attraction can be until they’ve felt it.

No one can judge you on your choices, beliefs or ideas because they aren’t you. They haven’t experienced the same sequence of life events, or interacted with the same people or places, as you.


The Reality-Check

Before you twist my words by thinking of examples of situations that contradict what I’ve just said, realize what you are doing, and stop. We shouldn’t jump to findings ways or examples which devalue others opinions or ideas. Why much we challenge people when we can try to understand and have compassion for others.

So go ahead and make assumptions about me. I dare you. But remember that your judgments about me, says alot more about you, than it does about me.

At the end of the day, after reading what I had to say, I want you to have been able to step back from your thoughts and reflected on the assumptions you’ve made of others. Whether it’s a friend, family member, complete stranger at the grocery store, or celebrity, what have you assumed or judged about them? How much money they have? How entitled they seem? How poor they look? How weird they sound? How dumb they seem? And those may just be your opinions. We’re all allowed to have opinions, but when it comes to having an opinion about other human beings, that is now longer your opinion but a judgment.

We all have opinions about pineapple on pizza, or transit, or on fashion trends, but when we include a person’s character, it becomes a judgment on their culture, beliefs and/or interests.

Stop judging and start living. No one’s life but your own, and how you choose to live it, matters. If you want to spend your life helping others, then do it! If you want to live your years teaching, that go for it! This world has no place for people who take gratitude in convincing people they are right and others are wrong, or that what they love is ridiculous, foolish or weird.

Freakin’ do what makes you happy, and surround yourself with people who see the world the same way you do. As I saw on the internet once,

 “You are only as happy as those you surround yourself with”;

Let go of the people around you that hold judgment about others, that find every opportunity to make a joke about someone's appearance, that roll their eyes at people meditating in the park.

Keep the people in your life that are on the same level as you, that motivate you and bring out the best in you in every way possible.

I'll keep doing what I love, writing about what I care about and sharing my opinions. Sure I'll make mistakes sometimes, but I know the people I surround myself with, regardless of my weaknesses, will support me in whatever I do as long as it makes me happy.

So go ahead, I dare you to judge me.

-Marie