21 and Living On My Own?!
Hear me out. Yes I am 21, but I'm only temporarily living on my own. Nonetheless it's the first time I've experienced living completely alone for a weeks time. This may not sound like a big deal for most of you, so let me put you in my shoes.
One. I am an only child; 'nuff said. Two. The last time my parents left for a week long vacation, I was living on residence at University and taking my exams at school (aka not living at home). Before that, in high school, my parents left for a couple days, but they had my grandma come to watch me, after much resisting on my end. Three. My mom has been retired for 5 years now, so she doesn't leave the house that often. So on any regular day I never (and I really mean, NEVER) have the house completely to myself. Other than the grocery store runs my parents do on weekend mornings, there is always someone else in the house.
This time is different. My parents finally trust me to be home alone. I have my license and a car, meaning the freedom and responsibility to take care of myself... for the most part (haha)
Today, as they got in the taxi to leave, I am feeling excited but I am also a little anxious. Obviously, I'll miss them, but I've struggled alot in the past with with the feeling of "feeling alone in a crowd of people". Teetering between that and the need to be on my own alot of the times, makes everything ever so complicated. So though I look forward to finally having complete peace for a week's time, I'm nervous the lack of human interaction will hit me harder than expected. But only time will tell.
(P.S if you don't care what I did during the week, skip to "Final Update")
Weekend Update (Not the SNL kind)
I genuinely thought I would feel more lonely after this weekend, but I think the key to avoiding that was staying busy.
I woke up REALLY early Saturday morning (pitfalls of going out on Friday night...) and did some errands, returning purchases, grocery shopping, getting gas... Got home, had lunch and got some writing done (finished my post I uploaded last week). Since I woke up so early, I took a nap after lunch, then watched some Youtube videos. I went to Wendy's for dinner, watched an episode of Ozark and The Assassination of Gianni Versace and called it a night at around 11 after a couple more Youtube videos.
Sunday, again I woke up relatively early again, did some painting in the garage and read until lunch. Promptly at noon I got my Hello Fresh delivery which I ordered to try out for the week. Since I'd have to cook for myself and generally I am not able (or allowed) to cook my own meals with my parents home, I took it upon myself to indulge in this very small luxury. After unpacking that box, and having lunch, I watered my plants, spot cleaned my room and watch a couple more Youtube videos.
By this point, though it wasn't very warm the sun was calling my name. I took a quick walk, as much as I could with my toe still very sensitive from a slower than anticipated healing process. Shortly after I made diner, read a little more and called my parents. Currently I am accompanied by a Pina Colada while watching NHL Playoffs games.
Overall I had a great weekend! Although on some occasions I felt a little lonely, instead of lingering in those feelings, I decided to get up and do something about it. No matter what it was, I got up and did a chore or anything productive to clear my mind. I might have even had a kitchen dance party to clear my head and burn some energy, but you'll never be able prove it...(hehe)
Weekday Update
Honestly, there's not much to say. Everyday I went to work, then came home around 5, made dinner, watched Netflix/Youtube videos. I read my book. Watched some more videos and went to be bed at 10 to start the cycle all over again. I'm not trying to sound down in dumps about the fact that I didn't really DO anything because that peaceful time after work is exactly what I'd been longing for.
Final Update
Here is where I stand after a week of
living completely independently. To make things short and sweet, it'll come to no surprise that I
really enjoyed it. The freedom of thinking and doing things on my own and for
myself and myself only, may sound selfish to most, but I've craved it for so
long. Just being with my own thoughts without the interruption of the
slightest outside noise from other people was really refreshing. Overall, by
the end of the week, it made me long more than ever to move out of my parents'
house and live on my own. I love my parents but I need my time to myself sometimes and I havn't been getting that fully, lately.
If you truly know me, than you know I am an introvert beyond words can describe. I know everyone says that, but I guarantee you I am not just throwing the word out there to sound relatable. I am hands down the type of person who does enjoy spending time with friends, but only in small groups of 3-4 max otherwise I get overwhelmed. Yet even if I spend a couple hours with a friend, I need almost a couple days of being alone to "recharge". That may sound strange to some (if so than you are obviously an extrovert), but being the way I am has helped me approach relationships in a different way. Since I enjoy spending time alone, I tend to cherish even the smallest interactions with friends or people I meet in passing. Similar to endorphins, my brain is on a high when I get the opportunity to have a conversation with someone outside of my daily routine. I don't know if that makes sense to some of you, so let me just say that I am the kind of person who puts a lot of value in my friendships. I am very selective with the people I choose to put my energy in, so if we're friends you must be a pretty special person.
One. I am an only child; 'nuff said. Two. The last time my parents left for a week long vacation, I was living on residence at University and taking my exams at school (aka not living at home). Before that, in high school, my parents left for a couple days, but they had my grandma come to watch me, after much resisting on my end. Three. My mom has been retired for 5 years now, so she doesn't leave the house that often. So on any regular day I never (and I really mean, NEVER) have the house completely to myself. Other than the grocery store runs my parents do on weekend mornings, there is always someone else in the house.
This time is different. My parents finally trust me to be home alone. I have my license and a car, meaning the freedom and responsibility to take care of myself... for the most part (haha)
Today, as they got in the taxi to leave, I am feeling excited but I am also a little anxious. Obviously, I'll miss them, but I've struggled alot in the past with with the feeling of "feeling alone in a crowd of people". Teetering between that and the need to be on my own alot of the times, makes everything ever so complicated. So though I look forward to finally having complete peace for a week's time, I'm nervous the lack of human interaction will hit me harder than expected. But only time will tell.
(P.S if you don't care what I did during the week, skip to "Final Update")
Weekend Update (Not the SNL kind)
I genuinely thought I would feel more lonely after this weekend, but I think the key to avoiding that was staying busy.
I woke up REALLY early Saturday morning (pitfalls of going out on Friday night...) and did some errands, returning purchases, grocery shopping, getting gas... Got home, had lunch and got some writing done (finished my post I uploaded last week). Since I woke up so early, I took a nap after lunch, then watched some Youtube videos. I went to Wendy's for dinner, watched an episode of Ozark and The Assassination of Gianni Versace and called it a night at around 11 after a couple more Youtube videos.
Sunday, again I woke up relatively early again, did some painting in the garage and read until lunch. Promptly at noon I got my Hello Fresh delivery which I ordered to try out for the week. Since I'd have to cook for myself and generally I am not able (or allowed) to cook my own meals with my parents home, I took it upon myself to indulge in this very small luxury. After unpacking that box, and having lunch, I watered my plants, spot cleaned my room and watch a couple more Youtube videos.
By this point, though it wasn't very warm the sun was calling my name. I took a quick walk, as much as I could with my toe still very sensitive from a slower than anticipated healing process. Shortly after I made diner, read a little more and called my parents. Currently I am accompanied by a Pina Colada while watching NHL Playoffs games.
Overall I had a great weekend! Although on some occasions I felt a little lonely, instead of lingering in those feelings, I decided to get up and do something about it. No matter what it was, I got up and did a chore or anything productive to clear my mind. I might have even had a kitchen dance party to clear my head and burn some energy, but you'll never be able prove it...(hehe)
Weekday Update
Honestly, there's not much to say. Everyday I went to work, then came home around 5, made dinner, watched Netflix/Youtube videos. I read my book. Watched some more videos and went to be bed at 10 to start the cycle all over again. I'm not trying to sound down in dumps about the fact that I didn't really DO anything because that peaceful time after work is exactly what I'd been longing for.
Final Update
If you truly know me, than you know I am an introvert beyond words can describe. I know everyone says that, but I guarantee you I am not just throwing the word out there to sound relatable. I am hands down the type of person who does enjoy spending time with friends, but only in small groups of 3-4 max otherwise I get overwhelmed. Yet even if I spend a couple hours with a friend, I need almost a couple days of being alone to "recharge". That may sound strange to some (if so than you are obviously an extrovert), but being the way I am has helped me approach relationships in a different way. Since I enjoy spending time alone, I tend to cherish even the smallest interactions with friends or people I meet in passing. Similar to endorphins, my brain is on a high when I get the opportunity to have a conversation with someone outside of my daily routine. I don't know if that makes sense to some of you, so let me just say that I am the kind of person who puts a lot of value in my friendships. I am very selective with the people I choose to put my energy in, so if we're friends you must be a pretty special person.
I think, no matter your life status: single and living with your parents, single and living alone, in a relationship and either living with your significant other or not, time spent completely alone on occasions is needed.
Although I still have a lot to learn from, being 21, I can confidently say I have a pretty good grasp on is who I am and
what kind of person I am today. Sure it may not yet be crystal clear where my life
will be a year from now: my job status, relationship status, even my health, who knows what could happen there! But I know myself, my mental capacity
and how strong I am. I know what I can, and can’t handle, and I know for the
most part how to handle complicated situations that come my way and where/when to seek help. And although I may believe now that
I understand myself, anything and anyone can come into my life to interrupt that.
The unknown will always be scary until
it becomes reality.
I was scared of being on my own for an
entire week to fend for myself and keep myself occupied, but applying my strength and managing my weaknesses, I threw myself
into it and couldn’t be happier with what came out of it.
I am scared of new friendships letting
me down like many of my previous ones have, but I try to let that doubt slide
over my shoulders, I go with my gut and take on what I have in front of me and make the most of
it today.
I am scared of what the future holds for
me in my career, but I try to stay positive about the opportunities that are
out there waiting for me to grasp at.
As long as you keep your head up, You have the
best chance of finding what makes you happy. Because looking down, at the floor,
only tells you what you have right now. But looking up, at the world, tells you all
the things that could be yours very soon.
-Marie
-Marie
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