Oh my Valentine

This is a Valentine's Day post. Will I be giving you tips on gifts for your boyfriend/girlfriend? Will I be telling you all about what my boyfriend has planned for me, or what I have planned for him? Fuck no. Sorry for how harsh that was but that's how I feel. I personally just hate reading those posts all about DIY decoration, or "Gift Guides". They are so far from being relatable! If you don't know what to get your significant other, than you obviously don't know them very well in the first place. Just being honest here.

Artist: Yuliya Vladkovska

Here's the truth. I'm single, and it's been that way for 21 years. I always hoped when I was in high school that by this time in my life it wouldn't be the case, but here we are. I always dreamed about how Valentine's Day would be this magical day filled with love and passion with my significant other. Needless to say that has never happened, nor do I even want it to happen, like ever. Before you judge me and think "oh well obviously you're a pessimist about Valentine's Day cuz you're single", let me explain.

Planning. Expectation. Stress. All for one day, or even one night. Days dedicated solely to celebrating someone in your life. Correct me if I'm wrong but, don't we already have so many of those? New Years, Birthdays, Anniversaries, Christmas (if you're Christian), why do we need another one?! Shouldn't we be appreciating the ones we love everyday? Personally, being gifted something on one of those occasions is nice, but wouldn't it feel even better if someone thought of you and gifted you something on just another regular day?! Why must we segregate our love for others and gifting things to those we love on specific days when it was already a given that extra appreciation, love and gifts were inevitable that day? Did that make any sense...?

Love everyone, everyday. And if you see something that someone would love, then just get it for them and give it to them! Why wait 4 months until Christmas or their birthday?! I, personally, would feel so much more appreciated if my significant other or friend just came to my house, for example, unannounced and told me to get ready to go out to dinner or to pack a bag for a trip leaving in a couple hours. That spontaneity shows me much more than a dinner or gift on Valentine's Day, that he/she cares about me. Obviously, if you're a person who hates surprises then forgo everything I just said, but I'm just speaking from my experience. I'm not saying I don't "believe" in special occasions, I just don't agree with how much pressure and expectations society has put onto them.

Here's where the self-love comes into the equation. For months now, maybe even over a year, I've admired this one piece of jewelry. I've been toying with the idea of buying myself some sort of jewelry, but I've been settling by buying fake Amazon engagement rings for the last couple months. Don't make fun of me... I partly also did that because I don't want to spend a fortune on something that might be out of style or tacky all together in a couple years. This one necklace though I loved! 

The company, Billy!, I've admired for a long time (lovebilly.com) and I was contemplating waiting until the next time I go to New York City to get their "Billy! Bracelet" lasered onto my wrist (check out this link for more details). The logistics of that right now are not working out so that will just have to be put on the back burner for now. Instead I decided to purchase their "Heart to Heart" necklace to myself, from myself.

Here's a very short back story. For my 18th birthday, my parents gifted me with a heart necklace with three small diamonds surrounding it, and I never really owned any jewelry other than earrings at the time. I loved the necklace so much that I practically haven't worn anything else in the last 3 years. My parents got me that necklace out of love, and as symbol that even during this next chapter in my life (I was 3 months into my first year at University) they would always be there for me. In the last three years I've grown alot, and learned alot about myself. I know I still have alot of heartbreak and disappointment to come, that will only make me stronger, but as of today I feel like I truly understand the concept of loving myself. I know what makes me happy, and who makes me happy, and I work everyday to achieve my ultimate happiness. Whether that's having a glass of wine watching the Bachelor, or donating my old clothes, redecorating my bathroom (look out for bathroom re-do post soon), going for a drive with no destination in sight or just catching up with friends, that's what I make a priority everyday to make myself happy. 

I am incredibly proud that I've come to realized this and constantly made an effort to make myself happy above all. With that, I bought the necklace, for myself, and also bought some bed sheets, for myself, bought a bathmat, for myself and got rid of all the clothes that have been haunting me in a drawer for months, and I feel amazing.

To end this Valentine's day post, I just want to say that no matter what your relationship status is this Valentine's Day, or any day for that matter, focus on doing things that will make you happy not only temporarily, but for as long as you are alive. Life is too short to sulk about being single, or feel trapped because your boyfriend doesn't want to go see a rom-com. It's so ridiculous! Do what you want, when you want, while still being smart about your decisions. As dark as this might sound to some of you, the only person you can truly count on is yourself. You need to feel comfortable being alone before allowing someone into your life who will inevitably invade your privacy, remember that! 

Love who you want, when you want, no matter the state of the society you live in. Don't let someone judge you for your decisions, because at the end of the day you have to proud of the version of yourself you put out there to the world. It's all about projecting happiness and love from the inside out so make sure you are happy and you love yourself before you start sharing your love and happiness with the world, otherwise you might not have anything left for yourself at the end of a long day.

xoxo

(FYI the artist that painted that, Yuliya Vladkovska is incredibly talented! I've known about her for 4-5 years now. She's based in Italy and Spain and her work is breathtaking!)